The very first experience I remember of feeling heartbreak and separation from love was in the womb through the connection to my mothers heart. She felt betrayed, hurt and abandoned by my father and closed off her heart from the pain, she closed off her heart to us too, all we had was the comfort and safety of her energy. 

I have channeled the experience after birth which is reflective of the trauma experienced:

The “terror” of the unknown (adoption andabandonment), where has the familiar gone (birth mother), the only life support I have ever known. The energy that surrounded me, the sound of her voice; everything that was once familiar hasnow gone …. only isolation remains. I am afraid of every moment away from what was,I am searching, calling out and crying for the only home I know. Why does she not come to me, hold me, comfort me and love me, where has she gone. 

Who is this person who feeds me, changes me and cares for my basic needs? but whocannot love me as I need! The connection is gone, there is no safety, I no longer feel secure or comforted only unusual sounds and energy (frequencies) surround me now.

The panic I feel is overwhelming that I stop breathing, how can I live like this, feeling so alone even when I am not; waiting to be left again!  

My mother (adoptive), the unfamiliar energy, she feeds me and takes care of all my basic needs, but her heart is blocked, I can’t feel a connection to her at all; I am isolated, alone, she doesn’t love me, there is no joy or happiness. There is no tenderness, everything is unfamiliar, I don’t understand the energy of the people I am with, it doesn’t resonate with me, I don’t belong here! But there is one familiar thing, my twin sister, but she doesn’t feel the same. She is scared and has retreated within, I cannot connect to her heart either. Now weare both alone!!